I can’t clearly imagine what transpired that very early morning of October 3, 2018. I just found myself rushing to the bathroom with my elder sister, Pinky, also preparing herself to the hospital. “Quick! Mom’s being resuscitated,” words from the other end of the line. That’s all I remembered as we dashed to the hospital not speaking to each other and hurried to the third floor where Mom was.
The boat, “To Go”, docked at exactly 4:00 AM in my beautiful hometown Odiongan (Romblon) on a Monday of October 1, 2018. The weather was so fair that I felt so good since I left our home in Cainta. I was in a hurry to see my mom, afraid that I won’t be able to see her in good shape. Nobody knew I was coming that very day as I am used to giving my family a surprise every time I wanted to see them on rare occasions.
At 4:30 am, I was in the vicinity of our home. I rang my sister up, which she abruptly answered to my surprise. (Oh! she’s still up in this wee hour of the night taking care of our mother.) “Hello, Ning! That’s how I fondly call Cecille. ”Where are you? “ “I’m home.” She muttered.
“Kindly open the door. “ She heeded without expression. I thought I surprised her. But she was not actually astonished. Maybe she was merely tired waiting for us or really tired and sleepless taking care of our dear mother. I was exhilarated to see Mom, but she was sleeping soundly, so I did not disturb her, instead, I chat with my younger sister about her condition. I was anticipating when I was still in Cainta that she will no longer recognize me, and that troubled me so much. Few weeks before my feet brought me to Batangas to take the boat, I was bitten by our kitten, Yoonji and I had to wait until my last shots were over. It took me some 3 weeks to finish.
A few weeks ago, I talked to Mom and asked her if she wants me home. And she said yes. But I quipped. “I gonna go home next year”, and she answered back, “will you get to me in time?” It was all because I was planning to take the boat the following day wearied by my sister’s story about what mom was saying every now and then. She was always asking if the boat arrived and if anyone of us was arriving. She often asked for her eldest grandchild, Shiela. So I was in a hurry to go home since I was afraid that if my niece got home ahead of me, I will no longer catch up with my mother.
Going back to my story, since the sun hasn’t shown herself yet, I asked my sister that we buy some foodstuff from the market as I missed the native “kakanin” and my favorite “kalamay mais” which I used to eat in my early teens, though I was in despair how it tasted now, and also to see my cousin, Arnel, and his famed porridge. He was amazed to see me in surprise.
Once we’re home, I was certain that Mom was awake. But alas, she no longer recognized me! I kept on telling her that I was home for her. My heart broke multiple times since she could no longer appreciate my presence and so desperate to see her in her condition. I still remember my very pretty mother who last year was still so robust and smart with a wit and brain of that of a 50-year-old lady until that thing on her right upper face annoyed her. She had been operated last October 2017, believing that it was just an ordinary cyst. And we brought her back to the province after the operation, but her situation just worsen. She was then brought back to Manila and consulted 3 more doctors after we got the result of her biopsy on January 2018, it was a case of hemangioendothelioma. The exact underlying cause for the abnormal growth is unknown. That’s the time we were made aware that her case was very rare. According to one of his doctors, there were only 200 cases around the world. “Your mom is mestiza”, he made a jest of which I jested back. “Why Doc is her case that of mestizas?” which he firmly answered smiling, “yes!”
Before we finally consulted the last doctor on March 2018, my mom, was still so robust and can walk at least some 40 meters just by holding in our arms, took a bath alone, and eat by herself. In fact, she was still up on midnights playing cards in her laptop. At times, her 2nd grandchild, Sharon took her out in the malls for an eating esprit with Sheila and Cecille.
Knowing that there was no cure for her illness when she went back to the province, my sister said, things were different. After two weeks, she could hardly walk and when we went home last May 5, 2018, for her 91st birthday. She was in the hospital for one week. From there on, she no longer got up from bed. My sisters Cecille, Mons, and Pinks and daughter Inuts and brothers Jose Rizal (Dodong), and Cocoy with her wife Sha took pain in taking care of our mother because she was plump and heavy, but they sacrificed a lot. Thanks to them
The day I arrived, she remained sleeping. But at noon time she finished one cup of osterized food and nothing followed till evening, so I worriedly asked my brother who is a nurse by profession, the good Vice Mayor of our town, Mark Anthony (Cocoy), what best to do, so, he called the hospital for Mom’s blood chem. And someone got her blood sample on that very day. On Tuesday, we were informed that mom’s hemoglobin was so low so we decided to bring her to the hospital on that same day. When the hospital staff came in and transferred her to the stretcher, it was the time that I saw my Mom’s first and last smile that moment. The timid smile that meant a thousand words to me, the smile that was enough to cure my thirst of her consciousness, the smile which I’ve missed for quite some time being far away from her. Yes, that was the best smile implanted in my mind till now, and that to remain in my memory of my most beautiful mother ever, that last pusillanimous smile in her lips.
The priest which we called earlier arrived when the ambulance was about to leave so we let him bless mom before we left. After receiving dextrose in the emergency room, her eyes opened wider as she seemed almost recognizing us all. I was telling her, “Mom, I’m here. Do you recognize me?” My other siblings were just right there talking to her and everybody was expecting her to recover.
Mom was 91, the age that was some kind of a “bonus” to us, but we were just wishing that our other siblings can still catch up with her alive, just for the thought of it…to see her alive, but in vain.
It was exactly quarter to six in the morning of October 3, 2018, when we were back to the hospital since I slept at home after we brought Mom to the hospital that afternoon because of a bad cough and troubled stomach. I and my elder sister, Pinky, were praying just to catch up with her. We were quiet and numb on our way to the hospital. That fatal day was a total wreck in our whole being seeing her already lifeless in bed and was told that she was pronounced dead, just one minute before we arrived. Nobody in the family was with her till her last breath, but my niece, Inuts, as my sister Cecil was told to purchase some medicine from the drug store nearby. Maybe that’s how God and Mom wanted things to be.
Though saddened and distressed, when we got home, after she was taken to the funeral parlor, there were already a few people back home fixing things for my mother’s wake. Everybody was moving in unison. It was clearly some kind of a “Bayanihan” for that matter. A few minutes later, people were increasing in number to my surprise. After a few hours later, everything was set. And I admired pretty well my town mates, relatives, neighbors, friends and government people, and some relatives as well who came from other provinces for the endless help extended to our family. I also wanted to personally thank the very good Ex-congressman Atty. Budoy Madrona for the tremendous help extended to us and the very unique service given by Ate Beth Magallanes and her people, and the rest who condoled with us, the church people, those who prayed for my mother and for those who were with us till her very last hour. Thank you so much. I would also want to give credit to my ever beautiful, younger sister Cecille for giving a 101% of your time, strength and love, endlessly taking care of our beloved mother till you drop.
Our eldest sister, Bebbotte, arrived on Oct. 6 (Saturday) with her children Shiela, Sharon, Bobby, Michelle and Sunshine with her little one, and our other sibling Pio and wife Serma, all so distraught. Pio then, because of some emotional reasons asked the funeral staff to open the coffin before Mom was finally laid to rest just so he could touch our mother’s arm.
Death is never losing a loved one. It is gaining a home, our true home with God.
My mother’s wake was simply less stressful because of the big help from everybody. But for me, a wake is a thing of the past. It is a different thing here in Metro Manila and the adjacent towns. Having a wake on a chapel is tedious. For me, I wanted a cremation after three days from death. And three days would be safekeeping to a funeral chapel with scheduled visiting hours for the family. After all, death is death. But do we rather not want everybody to remember us healthy and strong,
beautiful and glamorous, and remain those thoughts in their minds rather than see us sick, pitiful, dying and gone? My take…
